Friday, May 23, 2014

"I will not leave you orphaned..." Some reflections on John 14:18...




It’s been nearly 21 years since my husband and I welcomed our first-born daughter into our lives. Even today, the miracle of her birth still overcomes me. those first few days, I held her, staring at her for hours on end, amazed at God’s perfect creation, thankful beyond all words.

One of our first visitors at home was a good friend of ours. I was all too aware of the struggles that she and her husband were having as they tried to conceive – and pain that was only compounded by the sense of loss that she continued to feel after having lost her own mother as a very young child. She sat with me, holding our newborn daughter, cooing with her, smiling and taking it all in. Yet I could feel the full throes of her pain – even before she looked at me and said, “I’m really worried that I’ll never get to know this moment.” We both wept, and truly, words seemingly came out of nowhere as I responded to her, “I really believe that God’s plan is for you to be a mother. You have to believe it, too.”

Fast forward a few years, and my friend’s family had actually grown larger than ours: She and her husband adopted three absolutely beautiful daughters, the oldest being just days older than our younger daughter. We’ve shared a few good laughs about that over the years – and, yes, there have been tears, too, especially those that I hid from her when, before they began the process of adopting their youngest daughter, I read the poignant words that she had to share with a birth mother who might consider their home for her child: “We have so much love to give, and your child would help us make our family complete.” Having had two rather non-eventful pregnancies and given birth to two healthy babies, I couldn’t even begin to imagine what she was feeling.

In John’s Gospel, Jesus tells his disciples, "I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you." This coming Sunday, many Christians will hear those words, and try to process what they mean for us in our daily walk with God. When I hear these words, it is my friend’s face that I see, from that day nearly 21 years ago when she wondered if she would ever know the joy of motherhood. It is her yearning, the love that she was so ready to give – the love that she has given so unconditionally for 17 years. God had not left her orphaned – not when her own mother had died when she was a very young child, nor when she had later found herself unable to conceive the children she so longed to love. Neither had God orphaned the beautiful daughters who have been entrusted to her mother-love and care, and who have grown into strong and beautiful young women with her nurture.

"I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you…" Yes, he is coming to us…in the moments in which we least expect him, in the hours and days that seem the loneliest, in the nights that seem the longest, darkest and coldest, in the prayers that seem unanswered, in the pain that seems unbearable. No, he will not leave us orphaned.




 

Friday, May 16, 2014

On Motherhood, and Our Young Taking Flight…..





A few days ago, I had lunch with the mothers of some of our older daughter’s high school classmates.  It was a time to get together to talk about what we’d just experienced; within the past few weeks, we all have taken our daughters off to college.  For some of us, it’s the first child “out of the nest,” and for others, the nest is now empty.

The consensus from our lunch group was this:  No matter how ready our kids are for their independence, no matter how well-prepared we think we are for that day, no matter how excited we are for our teens to have a great college experience, the act of a mother leaving her child in a far-away (or not so far-away) place is gut-wrenching.

No one prepares you for this moment when you are holding your newborn in your arms.  Or when you’re reading your toddler the tenth bedtime story of the evening.  Or when you’re sitting up with your sick child all night.  Or when you’ve been at the soccer field, the pool or the volleyball court for hours on end, watching your child and her team.  Or when you’re struggling to be patient as you help your teen learn to drive.  You are there, right there with your child, keeping her safe.

In reality, no one can prepare you for this moment.  One mother shared that, as she and her husband began the drive home from the “drop off,” she told him that she felt that she’d just lost her job.  That nurturing job.  That wiping teary eyes and runny noses job.  That kissing boo-boos and doctoring skinned knees job.  That baking cookies and doing laundry job.  That listening and all-too-often having to bite your tongue job. That being right there to catch you when you fall job.

It’s a job that we inevitably have to lose, that is, if we’ve done it well.  After all, we’re here to help our children become confident, self-sufficient, capable, morally-responsible – and independent – adults.

But that doesn’t make the separation any easier.

I didn’t appreciate that fact when I left home for college – way back when.  I happily soared off for what would be an amazing adventure: I encountered inspiring professors who stirred my passion for learning, made lifelong friends, had my first experiences in community service, grew as a leader, and learned more about myself than I ever could have imagined.

It was all good – and the kind of experience that I wish for our daughter. 

But while I soared off without a care in the world, I know now that my mother was still at home being a mother – worrying about me being in a larger city, fretting about the dangers that I might encounter, wondering if I were eating healthy meals, getting enough sleep and keeping up with my coursework. 

But all the while I was fiercely asserting my independence.  I recall now that as I prepared to drive home for my first fall break, I’d expected to leave around 10:00 that morning, and told my parents that I’d be home by 5:00 p.m.  The fellow student from my hometown who was riding home with me realized that he wouldn’t be finished with a test that he was taking until nearly noon, so we got a later-than-expected start.  I could have called my parents to let them know about the delay, but no doubt busy with my new life, I didn’t.

And when I pulled into the driveway just after 7:00 p.m., my mother’s tear-stained face in the kitchen window spoke volumes about motherhood: the worry, the fear, and the undying instinct to protect our young never go away.

And so, I’m hoping that our own fiercely independent daughter – who seems to be adjusting happily and well to college life – will forgive me for worrying, for fretting, for not being able to just kick that mother-job to the curb.  I’m hoping that she’ll know that I’m still there, cheering her on and watching her soar, albeit from a safe distance.

After all, she’s got beautifully-developing new wings to try out, and she needs to be able to soar and enjoy them.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Embracing the grace...just on the other side of our comfort zone






I will admit that I am a little bit of a creature of habit -- not inflexible, by any means, but I do have some routines that I observe rather faithfully. And one of those routines is to take prayer and exercise time every morning.

For the past three years, since we adopted our dog, Hollister, walking and running with him has been part of that morning routine. He's a fairly big guy, and loves his ...morning exercise time as much as I do.

Well, he used to, anyway.

Lately, he's been less than enthusiastic about our morning jaunts. To put it bluntly, he's been downright uncooperative -- literally sitting in the middle of the street near our house and refusing to budge. I've coaxed, cajoled, encouraged, and even tried to bribe him with a treat, all to no avail.

My suspicion is that the noise from some construction a few blocks away bothers him, and he doesn't want to go in the direction of that noise. Unfortunately, we have to head in the direction of the noise to get out of our small neighborhood development. Once we're out, we can head away from the noise that bothers him so much and continue on our way. But we can't make it far enough for him to realize that everything is really okay -- and that fun awaits, just on the other side of the bothersome noise.

We're about a week into his refusal to head out in the mornings, and I'm not enjoying having my morning routine altered. More than anything, I'm missing his company -- and watching the fun that he has exploring and checking out all of the sights and smells of the neighborhood each day. And Hollister -- poor thing -- is missing out on three or four miles worth of exercise and exploration.

This little disruption in my routine has helped me remember something: When we're afraid to step out of our comfort zones, we often miss out on the abundant grace that God has in store for us. All too often, our unwillingness to step out in faith beyond that which might intimidate us causes us to miss out on the rich reward just on the other side of our fears. We avoid coming into contact with neighbors who might be "different." We are uncertain about trying a new ministry opportunity, or joining a new class or group, because we're not sure if it will be a "good fit." And we miss out.

Just on the other side of the bothersome noise, a fun morning awaits my sweet dog. I'm just hoping that when all of the construction is done, he remembers how much fun we've always had and will be willing once again to venture out and take it all in.

And just on the other side of our fears and uncertainties, abundant blessings await us.

Are we willing to take a little risk, for the grace that awaits us just on the other side?

Friday, May 9, 2014

A Pilgrim’s Reflections, from a first trip to the Holy Land....

Day 2:
A pic of the day, from the Basilica of the Annunciation, in Nazareth. Definitely more pix to come. Arrival yesterday in Tel Aviv (Day 1), and a long walk along the Mediterranean before dinner. Today, traveled north to Caesarea Maritima, on to the Monastery of the Carmelites, then to Megiddo, before heading into Galilee. Not nearly enough time in Nazareth before making our way to Tiberias this evening. Tomorrow? On to the Sea of Galilee.onastery of the Carmelites, then to Megiddo, before heading into Galilee. Not nearly enough time in Nazareth before making our way to Tiberias this evening. Tomorrow? On to the Sea of Galilee.



Day 3:
They cast their nets in Galilee,
just off the hills of brown,
such happy simple fisherfolk
before the Lord came down.

We began Day 3 of our adventure sailing across the Sea of Galilee, and the words of this hymn rang in my mind. It was a perfect morning for the sail: sunny, just a bit of a breeze, utterly beautiful, a perfect day to envision the first four disciples – Simon Peter, Andrew, James and John – putting down their nets and following Jesus. Viewed an actual fishing boat dating from the first century. Enjoyed a lunch of cooked fish. Visited the Church of the Beatitudes and the Church of the Multiplication of the Loaves and Fishes. Then on to Capernaum and Caesarea Philippi, and a glimpse across the Syrian border. Full day, and so wonderful. Tomorrow? On to the Jordan River, and making our way to Jerusalem.



erfect morning for the sail: sunny, just a bit of a breeze, utterly beautiful, a perfect day to envision the first four disciples – Simon Peter, Andrew, James and John – putting down their nets and following Jesus. Viewed an actual fishing boat dating from the first century. Enjoyed a lunch of cooked fish. Visited the Church of the Beatitudes and the Church of the Multiplication of the Loaves and Fishes. Then on to Capernaum and Caesarea Philippi, and a glimpse across the Syrian border. Full day, and so wonderful. Tomorrow? On to the Jordan River, and making our way to Jerusalem.

Day 4:
Today began on the Jordan River, where we witnessed several people of different nationalities being baptized. Amazing to hear so many languages being spoken as our shared faith was affirmed. We drove along the Jordan border, stopping at the magnificent ruins of Bet She’an as we made our way into the Judean desert. Near Jericho, we saw shepherds in the hill country, tending their sheep. (And we took time for a little camel-riding fun ourselves!) We made our way into Jerusalem, taking in the magnificent views. A stop at the Mount of Olives was followed by a time of prayer and reflection at the Church of All Nations and the Garden of Gethsemane. The highlight of the day, though, was spending time with my dear friend, Sara’s, beautiful family. Tomorrow? On to the Old City, and the Via Dolorosa.



magnificent ruins of Bet She'an as we made our way into the Judean desert. Near Jericho, we saw shepherds in the hill country, tending their sheep. (And we took time for a little camel-riding fun ourselves!) We made our way into Jerusalem, taking in the magnificent views. A stop at the Mount of Olives was followed by a time of prayer and reflection at the Church of All Nations and the Garden of Gethsemane. The highlight of the day, though, was spending time with my dear friend Sara Benin's beautiful family. Tomorrow? On to the Old City, and the Via Dolorosa.
Day 5:
“So they took Jesus; and carrying the cross by himself, he went out to what is called The Place of the Skull, which in Hebrew is called Golgotha. There they crucified him, and with him two others, one on either side, with Jesus between them. Pilate also had an inscription written and put on the cross. It read, ‘Jesus of Nazareth, the King of the Jews.’ Many of the Jews read this inscription, because the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city; and it was written in Hebrew, in Latin, and in Greek.”
A moving day, making our way with other pilgrims of many other countries and tongues along the Via Dolorosa, ending up at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, traditionally believed to be the site of Jesus’ Crucifixion, burial and Resurrection. Comparing the arch. Pilate also had an inscription written and put on the cross. It read, ‘Jesus of Nazareth, the King of the Jews.’ Many of the Jews read this inscription, because the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city; and it was written in Hebrew, in Latin, and in Greek.”

A moving day, making our way with other pilgrims of many other countries and tongues along the Via Dolorosa, ending up at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, traditionally believed to be the site of Jesus' Crucifixion, burial and Resurrection. Comparing the archaeological evidence from the more recently recognized Garden Tomb. Experiencing the confluence of cultures – Jewish, Christian and Muslim – in the sights, sounds and smells of the Old City. Tomorrow? To Bethlehem
aeological evidence from the more recently recognized Garden Tomb. Experiencing the confluence of cultures – Jewish, Christian and Muslim – in the sights, sounds and smells of the Old City. Tomorrow? To Bethlehem.





Day 6:
“In those days a decree went out from Emperor Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration and was taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria. All went to their own towns to be registered. Joseph also went from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to the city of David called Bethlehem, because he was descended from the house and family of David. He went to be registered with Mary, to whom he was engaged and who was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for her to deliver her child. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in bands of cloth, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.”
Much to take in today in Bethlehem...Crossing a barbed-wired, walled border from Jerusalem into this Palestinian-occupied city, and seeing armed militia walking along the streets as we made our way to the Church of the Nativity, I was struck that the world which now surrounds the stable-place is probably not much different than the world into which the Son of God was born. And, a moving visit to Yad Vashem, Israel’s Holocaust Museum, offered another sobering reminder of the atrocities that humans have committed against one another. Prayer time at the Wailing Wall this evening became a fitting close for this emotional day. Tomorrow? Off to the Dead Sea.





Day 7:
Qumran and the Dead Sea...even though I've known the story of the Dead Sea Scrolls, seeing the area is incredible. Grateful for the faithfulness of the Essenes to preserve the ancient writings for future generations and for the perseverance and care of those who brought them to light.

 
 

Wrapping up:
“The angel said to her, ‘The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God. And now, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son; and this is the sixth month for her who was said to be barren. For nothing will be impossible with God.’ Then Mary said, ‘Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.’ Then the angel departed from her.”

There could be no more fitting end to this journey than to visit the Church of John the Baptist and the Church of the Visitation of Mary and Elizabeth. Mary and Elizabeth are the image of hope and expectation, and possibility in the face of impossibility. Elizabeth’s son, John the Baptist, born to her in her old age, would obey the call of God to go out into the world and prepare the way for the coming of God’s Son. And that Son, born to the Virgin Mary, would heal the sick, feed the hungry, teach the lost and give hope to the hopeless before giving up his own life on a cross. May we all be encouraged by Mary and Elizabeth’s faithfulness; may we all be strengthened by their courage. May we all find possibility in the face of impossibility – through God, who makes all things possible. Let it be with all of us, according to God’s holy word.





ent from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to the city of David called Bethlehem, because he was descended from the house and family of David. He went to be registered with Mary, to whom he was engaged and who was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for her to deliver her child. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in bands of cloth, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.”

Much to take in today in Bethlehem…Crossing a barbed-wired, walled border from Jerusalem into this Palestinian-occupied city, and seeing armed militia walking along the streets as we made our way to the Church of the Nativity, I was struck that the world which now surrounds the stable-place is probably not much different than the world into which the Son of God was born. And, a moving visit to Yad Vashem, Israel’s Holocaust Museum, offered another sobering reminder of the atrocities that humans have committed against one another. Prayer time at the Wailing Wall this evening became a fitting close for this emotional day. Tomorrow? Off to the Dead Sea.